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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?